A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.
Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."|||hahahahaa nice one, and welcome home!!!!|||HAHAHA!|||technically correct but good lol|||spot on!|||THE PICTURE!! THE PICTURE!! AHHH!|||since when do helicopters land in the middle of a busy international airport, especially when there are dozens of other places to land.|||Very funny and very true!|||Tee hee hee!! another star for you!!
Knew you couldn't keep away!! good to see you!!|||that was nice, * 4 u|||lol good one Jane. figures microsoft cause they do talk very technical. a star for you. keep posting and welcome back;)|||On top form as always. Heres a few for you
Signs you've been programming too long
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.
Irish transportation
The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod Eireann.
Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think that the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused on your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of Numbers, 22nd Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ***. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
Finally, Bad foreign translations
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
.
On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.
In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.
In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?
On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.
A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.
A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.|||hsahhahahhahah
thx|||Ha ha nice one. Very technically like them!!
:-)))|||thats your best one yet! I love it! have a star! I would star it again, if i could!|||Hahahahahhahaha, nice one honey,back where you belong.
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